


Is it all a joke? (Tyrus)

by Coffeecrusadeclub



Series: Is it all A Joke? [1]
Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-07-28 11:50:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 17,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20063554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coffeecrusadeclub/pseuds/Coffeecrusadeclub
Summary: Cyrus had met TJ in seventh grade grade, the older boy had intimidated him at first but eventually that turned into Cyrus pining for him, even 3 years later. When TJ suddenly asks to hang out after not speaking to Cyrus for a year, Cyrus finds himself more than willing to hang out with him. Cyrus thinks TJ has changed to be a lot better of a person since he was when they first met, but after hanging out with him for awhile he starts to have his doubts. Did TJ really want to hang out with him or was this some sort of elaborate joke?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea in my head for awhile and finally started to get it down on paper or well digital paper anyway. I hope you enjoy, I love when yall give kudos, comments, and bookmarks.  
I'm going to try to keep a weekly schedule so since I am posting this on a Wednesday I am going to try and update every Wednesday but we will see how that goes in terms of actually waiting till Wednesday to post. :)

My eyes followed the basketball captain as he ran back and forth the court. I knew I came here to watch Buffy for the most part, as well as her boyfriend Marty who both played on the team but something about the basketball captain seemed to distract me every time.

“You’re staring again Cy” Andi nudged me, startling me as I had completely zoned out wondering what it was that drew me to him. I mean sure he was a relatively attractive person, and we had talked a couple times in the past but that was in middle school, we are in tenth grade now and TJ had made no efforts to talk to me since they finished eighth grade. We didn’t even get that close still it kinda hurts that we never became friends, I couldn’t help but wonder why.

“I most certainly was not thank you very much..” I paused looking away from the game briefly to make eye contact with my pixie haired best friend. “I was just- trying to remember how long each thingy was.”

She laughed putting her hand on my shoulder, “Cyrus why don’t you just talk to him? Ask Buffy if you could tag along to a couple group hang outs and then see if he wants to hang out alone.” She had taken her focus back to the game and I sighed, between her and Buffy I had heard that plan a billion times. It was still easier said than done. Before I could reply the timer had gone off signalling the end of the game. Our school had won by a lot and cheering rose from our schools side of the bleachers. I wasn’t sure why the game was important I just knew it was so I went along with the hype of the crowd and started cheering as well.

Andi quickly grabbed my hand and led my to the hall outside the locker rooms so we could get there before the crowd of people made their way into the hall creating more than enough traffic towards the exits. Andi had become persistent on getting me to ask TJ to hang out, she and Buffy had both become more pushy towards the idea. I had absolutely no idea why and I didn’t want to ask again. When I had they both looked at each other and laughed. I much preferred to not feel like the punchline to a joke I didn’t get. Buffy joined us and started to join Andi’s quest at getting me to talk to TJ but was quickly interrupted when TJ came up to me, well us I mean.

“What do you want Kippen we’re trying to get Cyrus to talk to- TJ! What are you doing here?” Buffy started interrupting herself from bickering as she realized TJ had walked up to the group while they encouraged Cyrus to approach him and I wondered about his intentions, I assumed he wanted something from Buffy. He laughed softly and I felt my knees go weak, he had such a beautiful laugh. I shook my head willing myself away from the thought. I don't know if he is also gay but there was no way someone like him wanted someone like me.

“Nice to see you too Driscoll. I’m actually here to see Cyrus” He responded turning to me. A soft smile that seemed to make the world melt away, bright green eyes that glistened perfectly from every angle, hair that seemed to still fall perfectly despite the obviously had just washed it in the locker rooms. I shook myself out of the day dream as I realized he had said he was here for me. He was here for me?

“Cyrus!” Both girls squealed in unison pulling me out of my thoughts

“Huh? What? Sorry..” Apparently I had zoned out for a bit longer than I thought and completely missed what TJ had said. He didn’t seem as upset as the girls, he didn’t seem upset at all actually. I smiled sheepishly as he repeated himself.

“The guys on the team were going out some place and I don’t really feel like going and wondered if you want to go hang out with me” I looked at him wide eyed.

“_ You _ want to hang out with _ me _??” I exclaimed trying to not die from shock

“Well I mean yeah, I missed you, freshman year we didn’t talk as much because of our schedules.” I stared at him for a moment, did TJ Kippen just say he missed me?

“I - I mean if you don’t want to hang out we don’t have to or we could some other time” He stammered, he sounded nervous. Why would he be nervous? I paid no mind to it and chuckled.

“I’d love to hang out TJ, you gals okay if I skip out on the spoon today?”

“Yes!” the girls responded a little too excitedly

“Well I guess it’s just you and me Teej..” I paused as I unintentionally used his old nickname. He seemed unphased and I smiled following close behind him.

“You okay with walking to my place? It’s not far but my mom is at work and can’t get us”

“Oh we- we’re going to your house? I- yeah that’s fine let me just text my mom.” I smiled trying to shake off all the anxieties in me. I haven’t spoken to him in a year and was going to _ his house. _What dimension have I entered?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At TJ's house Cyrus finds himself making choices he wouldn't around his other friends. He thinks it's a bad idea but he can't bring himself to protest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little longer than I meant it to be but I hope you enjoyed it regardless. I know TJ's name is canonly Thelonious Jagger but I dont know how to spell it by memory and I dont want to search for it everytime I want to use it sorry. Also I was supposed to update weekly and its barely the next day but I am in a writing sorta mood so here is another chapter. I might do daily updates for awhile.

After walking for about 15 minutes, I realized this was the first time I had ever been to TJ’s house. Usually he opted to come to mine in middle school. We turned up the driveway of his house, the exterior was a soft blue color with accents of white.

“It’s not much but it’s something. I think my sister is home just so you know” TJ turned back and smiled at me before opening the door so we could go in.

“You have a sister? I didn’t know that” I looked around the house it was a nice sized house.

“Yeah. She’s my twin, but she’s in the grade above us. Since I flunked you know?” He led me to the kitchen and I nodded, although I didn’t know he had flunked a grade. A figure appeared from behind us, just having made their way down the staircase.

“Tyler I’m going out you okay to stay alone?” Amber asked entering the kitchen behind us

“Tyler?” I asked a mischievous grin growing on my face as I looked up at him

“Amber!” TJ reprimanded turning around, I mirrored his action turning to face her.

“Amber? Amber is your sister?” I asked curiously looking between the two. Other than their blonde hair the two didn’t look all that alike.

“Hey Cyrus what’s up! I thought you would be at the spoon already, what are you doing here?”

“Oh well I was but TJ asked to hang out so here I am” I smiled shyly, “Is that where you’re off too?”

“Yeah! Andi texted me a few minutes ago inviting me” A soft blush grew across her face.

“You should tell her you know” I said and she smiled covering her face with her phone.

“Well! I’m going to go and let you do whatever it is you have planned, and Tyler James Kippen you treat him right and act as a good host! He deserves only the best” and with that Amber had let herself out and was on her way.

“Sorry about her, she’s a bit much” TJ sighed

“I hang out with her a lot actually I have for awhile.. Anyway so Tyler James huh? I like it” I smiled and TJ’s eyes widened.

“Gahh she told you on purpose” TJ announced dramatically before opening the fridge. I giggled and took a seat at the counter.

He rummaged through the fridge and pulled out to glass bottles and I scrunched up my nose in confusion.

“What is that?” I asked tilting my head slightly.

“It’s a beer my mom doesn’t really trip on us drinking as long as we do it at home, I mean the U.S. is the only place I know with such a high legal drinking age. In places in the UK it varies between 16-17. You’ve never had a beer?” TJ looked at me placing the bottle in front of me.

“I- no I haven’t, I can honestly say in my 16 years of existing I never have” I looked up at him, he had opened the bottle and set it back down in front of me.

“You’ll like this I promise, it’s fruity. It’s basically a cooler not even that much actual acholol i think” He stated as if it were obvious news but didn’t sound too sure. The fact that he started insepcting his bottle only reinforced that idea. I stared at the bottled for a second before picking it up and smelling it.

“TJ I’m not sure about this..” I said nervously looking up at him. I wanted him to like me and keep hanging out with me but I was afraid of my mom or dad knowing. They’d be so disapointed.

“It’s okay Cy I wouldn’t let anything bad happen to you. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to finish it I promise” He looked at me with hopeful eyes and I sighed. He looked so cute, how was I supposed to say no? I picked the bottle up and brought it to my mouth hesitating before taking a drink. It was suprisingly really good and I smiled. It didn’t have that much right?

“Do you like it?” TJ asked pulling my attention back to him and away from the label of the bottle.

“Yeah I- I do actually. Thanks” I smiled and TJ turned around pulling two more out of the fridge

“Come on, let’s go to my room? I’m bringing up 2 extra so we don’t have to come back down.” He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. I hesitated before following close behind him. How many of these things was he expected to drink. I shrugged as TJ opened the door and closed it behind them.

His room was that of an average 17 year old boy. It was painted a dark blue and had a couple random basketball posters by the door. He had a desk along one wall with a board full of pictures hanging above it, books and papers cluttered the desk. TJ sat down on his bed pushing a few things onto the floor and I followed. He had a queen sized bed in the centre of the room with a soft blue comforter. I walked over to his desk and started looking at the pictures, smiling when I noticed there was a few with me on the board.

“You saved these pictures?” I asked as I sat beside him on the bed

“Of course I did Underdog, they were cute” I smiled shly taking another sip of my drink. Mine was still mostly full but TJ’s looked like he was just about ready to open another one. We took a couple minutes to get settled in and TJ had turned on a radio so we had some background noise.

“So how have you been Underdog? Got a girlfriend or something?” TJ’s demeanor had changed he seemed a lot more relaxed. I found that as my drink got closer to be empty I had become more relaxed as well.

“I uh no, no girlfriend that wouldn’t work out well for me” I responded shyly, a blush creeping along my face.

“What do you mean? Why not?”

“Well because I- I don’t exactly swing that way. Ya know… boys” I smiled, did I really just come out to him so casually? I couldn’t find it in me to panic but I assumed that it was because I was now on my second drink. I envied that TJ did not seemed phased one bit.

“Oh word. Me too but you knew that” he said nonchalntly and my eyes widened

“I most certainly did not! How was I supposed to know?”

“I thought everyone knew! I dated Reed in middle school and freshman year I dated Micheal. I thought it was a known fact”

“Well I guess I live under a rock” my words came out slightly slurred and I tried to take another sip of my drink only to find that it was empty. I stared at it feeling deflated.

“Want another?” TJ smiled taking the empty bottle from my hand

“I shouldn’t” I paused, “But kinda” I wasn’t sure if it was because of the way the drink made me feel or just because I wanted TJ to like me but I was actually enjoying the drink.

“Okay Underdog I’ll go you another. I think after that we should stop you don’t want to go home drunk and you’re already buzzed”

I sighed, I forgot I had to go home. I opened my mouth to say nevermind but found myself asking to sleepover. TJ’s smile widened and said yes as he headed down the stairs. Why did I ask to sleep over? I shrugged and texted my dad to see if it was okay. Since it was Friday he said yes and asked if I needed him to take me a bag with clothes. I replied yes making sure I had written down the address and he sent a text saying “On my way” moments later. TJ walked back up with a few more drinks in hand

“What’d your dad say?”

“He said yes, he’s bringing me clothes”

“Then we should wait on these and get you a glass of water” he stated putting the bottles down and disappearing from the room once more. He came back up and handed me some water, which I drank rather quickly. My dad texted me he was outside and we quickly made our way to the car to take the bag from my dad.

“You coming home tomorrow night or Sunday?” My dad asked and I looked up at TJ

“Can he stay till Sunday sir?” TJ asked calmly and I made a mental note to thank him for talking for me.

“Yes of course and you are.. TJ right? I remember you, glad you two are hanging out again. Cyrus missed you anyways I’ll be on my way. Behave okay Cyrus? Remember your actions reflect me and your mother as well as both stepparents. Got it?”

“Got it. Bye dad” I tried to talk normally but still tripped over my words. I looked up at my dad worried he would know something was up but he didn’t seem to notice and started backing out of the driveway. Once he was out of view me and TJ went inside back up to his room.

“Thank you” I mumbled laying down on his bed.

“For?” I heard him open a bottle and sat up to see him reaching out to hand me it. I took it and smiled at him

“For piping in when my dad asked when I was going home.” I replied taking a sip. My words were sort of jumbled together but TJ seemed to understand

“No problem, hey I think that’s your last one. I’m cutting you off at 3 because I think you’re a little tipsy already not just buzzed. I forgot this was your first time drinking. I didn’t mean to actually get you drunk” He looked like he was actually concerned. I smiled letting out a soft giggle.

“Is okay Teej, I haven’t felt this good in… well ever. I feel happy, relaxed.. Confident”

“You should feel that way all the time Cy, you shouldn’t need to drink to feel it”

I shrugged taking another sip and accidentally spilling it on myself. TJ took the drink and I objected but he shook his head.

“No more Cy, lets get that in the wash” He went into my bag and tossed me a plain tshirt. We stared at each other for a second as I held the shit in my hand.

“You have to take it off so I can wash it Cy.” I stared at him a moment longer and shrugged. Usually I would never even have thought of changing in front of anyone especially the guy I have been pining for since we met, but I put the clean shirt down and took off the dirty one with no objections handing it to him. We stood there again and I noticed TJ staring at me, a light blush on his face. Then it hit me, I was shirtless in front of the guy I liked. I wasn’t nearly tipsy enough to not get flustered and felt my face turn red as I rushed to put my clean shirt on. TJ laughed and made his way out of the room and I sat down quietly.

When he came back I was staring out his bedroom window. His room was towards the back of the house, it looked straight into his backyard. I jumped slightly as he put a hand on my waist, wrapping his arm around me to look out. I tried to not be flustered at the sudden contact as he started talking

“What ya looking at?” as he pulled the curtains open with a small rope.

“You have a pool” I stated not adressing his arm.

“Yeah I do, do you want to go in it tomorrow?”

“Can we now?” I looked over at him and realized how close he actually was and let out a small gasp. I felt his breath against my skin, his face only inches from mine.

“Maybe after dinner, and after you’ve sobered up a little more.” he smiled pulling away from me signalling for me to follow. I nodded before falling into step beside him.

“I’m gona make us spagehtti do you want to watch a movie or something while you wait”

“I’ll sit in the kitchen with you” I nodded and TJ laughed softly

“Alright Underdog, but you can see the TV from the kitchen you know”

“Oh okay if you want to put a movie on I wouldnt be opposed to watching from the kitchen with you”

“Cool” He smiled at me and I sat at the counter facing the living room so I could see the TV. TJ started dinner and I put my head down on the arms letting the world fade away from me as I fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you guys feel about this chapter? Personally I don't think in the show TJ's character would do something like that, and I don't think Cyrus would either but as I was writing it just seemed to flow. How do you guys feel about our dear Lemon Boy being a bad influence?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried something a tad different while working with the point of view. Rather than staying in one's pov i tried to switch between the two. Let me know what you thought about it.

“Cyrus.. Psst Cyrus wake up”

I stared at Cyrus as he started to stir, groaning as he stretched. He sat up and looked up a confused look came across his face, immediately followed by him wincing.

“Where am I?” he asked groggily putting his head back down.

“Still in my kitchen Underdog” I laughed softly, “Dinner is ready I got you some water” His head shot up and he gasped, making a face of instant regret at the sudden movement.

“Oh my god I am so sorry I totally knocked out how long was I asleep? I am so sorry Teej” He looked at me frantically and I let out a small laugh. He was still visibly groggy and his hair was a mess, he looked cute. I shook my head trying to pull myself away from the thought

“About 20 minutes but it’s fine Cy, sorry I got you a little drunk. I shouldn’t have pushed you to try the drink and now you probably won’t enjoy the rest of the night. Classic TJ.” I sighed putting a plate of spaghetti down in front of him. He perked up but the look of excitement was immediately followed by a frown.

“This smells amazing. Hey no that’s not your fault I’m a big boy I could have said no but I didn’t not once. Plus I liked being able to feel just a tiny bit confident for a little while” we smiled at each other and started eating. Out of nowhere Cyrus suddenly dropped his fork and gasped, I looked up at him in panic.

“What are you okay?” I asked and Cyrus’ face turned red

“You saw me change my shirt! Oh my gosh”

“I’m sorry I didn’t know that was a bad thing- you didn’t say anything”

“No don’t apologize, it’s just no one has ever seen me without a shirt on. Other than my parents I mean but they used to get me dressed. I can’t believe I let you see me half naked. That drink is dangerous” I laughed softly at him and he continued to eat his pasta.

“You know you shouldn’t be so insecure about your body, it’s good- I I mean you looked good I mean no no I mean that you should be confident” I stammered turning bright red, taking a sip from my water. Cyrus laughed softly and smiled brightly at me. God I loved his smile.

“Thanks TJ.. I think.”

We finished eating a few minutes later and put our plates in the sink before making ourselves comfortable on the sofa turning on Netflix. I smiled as Cyrus sat down close to me. We were a couple of inches apart, nearly touching, a thin blanket over the two of us.

~~~

“Do you want to watch a scary movie? This one is really good”

“Uh I don’t do good with scary movies TJ” I stammered nervously

“It’s okay Underdog, I’ll protect you. We don’t have to though if you really don’t want to.”

I paused for a moment, was he trying to flirt? That wasn’t a flirty thing right? No I’m imagining that. “Um okay that’s fine” I said softly as TJ lit up and pushed play on the movie. After a few minutes I found myself to be shivering, it was pretty cold in the house. I knew my dad didn’t pack me a sweater so I just pulled the blanket tighter around me.

“You cold Cy?” TJ looked over at me, I assumed he was able to feel me shivering since we were basically right against each other. I didn’t want to admit to it because I didn’t want him to go get another blanket so I shook my head no”

“You’re lying. Hold on I’ll be back” He got up and walked up to his room coming back down with a sweater.

“Here since you don’t have one.” He put his arm out offering me his hoodie and I hesitated. “It’ll be a lot warmer Cy it’s okay I don’t mind” He assured me and I finally took it from his hands smiling.

“Thank you,” I said as I put it on, my words slightly muffled through the fabric. He was right, it was so much warmer and it smelled like him. I smiled softly as he took his seat back right beside me putting his arm behind the couch, and if he had sat closer to me than before, well I didn’t mention it.

~~~

I smiled softly to myself as I sat back down beside Cyrus. He looked really cute in my hoodie, like _ really  _ cute. We continued watching the movie and I felt him lean against my chest. I looked down at him and smiled, he had fallen asleep. He wrapped one arm around my waist and cuddled closer to me. I felt my face heat up and I put my arm down so that I was holding him.

“You look adorable” I whispered softly as I brushed a strand of hair out of his face. He stirred for a moment and I was afraid he had woken up but he just readjusted himself and stopped, a slight smile on his face. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I had been holding. The movie ended and I felt bad having to wake him up and so I opted to carry him to my room.

Carefully I slid off the sofa and picked him up bridal style, Amber had just gotten home as I made my way up the stairs.

“What are you doing?”

“He fell asleep watching a movie and I felt bad because of earlier so I am carrying him to bed.”

“What did you do earlier TJ”

“I accidentally got him a little tipsy and he fell asleep on the counter and I had to wake him up to eat”

“You got him what! You made him drink!?” Amber raised her voice slightly and I shushed her.

“I told him he didn’t have to drink it but he liked it. I’m taking him to bed goodnight”

“Where are you sleeping?”

“My bed?” I paused again turning to look at her, “I have a queen sized bed Amber we both fit.

“Ohh I see you don’t want to wake him up because you want to sleep with him. What if he wakes up and is uncomfortable?” Amber teased and I rolled my eyes.

“Goodnight Amber.” I said making my way into my room trying to ignore her but she was right, what if it did make him uncomfortable. I sighed putting him down on my bed. I looked at him and frowned, he was so cute I wish I could just tell him but I think the boys on the basketball team would actually freak out at me. I covered him with a blanket and set up some blankets and pillows on the floor. I had started changing when I heard a slight gasp came from the bed where Cyrus laid. I turned around and saw him sitting up and felt my face turn red. I had my pjs draped on the bed, all I was wearing were blue boxer shorts.

“TJ? I- oh.. Oh! Sorry” He realized what was happening and put his head down. I let out a nervous laugh and started putting pants on.

“Don’t worry about it Underdog I guess we’re even now. Sorry I woke you up I was trying not to”

“It’s okay I want to change anyway” He stated getting off the bed and stepping onto the blankets, that probably was a bad place to set them up. “Whats this?”

“Oh my makeshift bed for the weekend. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable so I’ll just sleep on the floor”

“I can’t take over your bed TJ! I can sleep on the floor”

“No you’re the guest I wont allow it”

“Fine how about we sleep together. Wait that came out wrong! I mean why don’t we just share the bed, we both fit” Cyrus stammered nervously and I laughed.

“Alright Underdog that works.”

“By the way, how did I get here? Last thing I remember was watching the movie on the couch.”

“Oh um I carried you up here, you looked really peaceful and I didn’t want to wake you.

“Oh okay.. By the way when I first fell asleep I was in a super light sleep and heard you say something about me being adorable? Was that a dream?” He teasede looking up at me with look that I couldn’t quite place.

“You- you heard that? I- Um you were dreaming” I stammered nervously looking away shyly. Cyrus laughed and started changing too

“I don’t buy that but okay if you say so” He smirked at me and I felt my face burning up. I quickly turned back around so I wasn’t facing him. Was Cyrus always this flirty or just when he was tired? 

“Goodnight Cy” I squeaked climbing into the bed.

“Goodnight Teej” he replied calmly climbing into bed next to me. He fell asleep instantly but the events of the day kept replaying in my head and I couldn’t help but wonder if he liked me. I doubted it, I was a bad influence and I knew it. I probably would have never approached him if the boys on the basketball team hadn’t made me. I wish I had approached him on my terms, but I didn’t. I just hoped he never found out.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes I am updating twice in one day. I'm enjoying writing this and with school coming up and being right around the corner I don't know how much time I'm going to have to work on it so my goal is to finish before break ends but I'm not sure I will but if I don't finish before school starts I will make sure to set aside time to update weekly.

I woke up to the sound of something rustling in the background and sat up. I looked around the room confused for a moment then remembered I was at TJ’s as well as the events of last night and couldn’t help but smile. I looked towards the closet and saw TJ standing outside it trying to find something to wear, once again in nothing but his underwear.

“Gosh Teej you are seriously hell bent on me seeing you naked huh?” I teased trying to not let my voice waver. Last night it was dark and I was tired so I didn’t exactly _see_ him. Now it’s daytime and I can see him perfectly. I knew he was fit but seeing him without a shirt was different. I could see how beautifully built he was and all the tiny stretch marks that indicated he gained and lost weight rapidly. I felt my face heat up and turned around, I know that I’m not into him purely based on looks but damn he looked good.

“Oh good morning Underdog, what you don’t like what you see?” He teased me right back and I knew for a fact I was as red as a tomato.

“‘Morning” I mentally cursed myself when my voice cracked but TJ laughed.

“Alright Underdog I’m dressed you can turn around now. I’m going to start breakfast meet me down there?” I turned around and TJ was staring at me with a soft smile. I nodded and watched as he walked out of the room.

After I got ready I contemplated putting his hoodie back on. I had fallen asleep in it because it was rather comfy and the house was still cold. I shrugged and put it back on before walking downstairs to join TJ. He would tell me something if he wanted it back right? As I walked towards the kitchen I heard TJ arguing with someone.

“No you can’t tell him that, it’s not like that mom”

“Then what is it like TJ because I know how you feel about him, just tell him”

“I can’t do that mom leave it alone!”

I paused in the door frame not sure if it was an appropriate time to join them. Before I could back away I was noticed by TJ’s mom.

“Cyrus! So wonderful to meet you, TJ here talks about you lots” Mrs. Kippen greeted me with a smile as if she hadn’t just been arguing with her son. I smiled warmly and shook her hand.

“Mom” TJ grumbled, looking rather embarrassed. Neither of us paid him any mind.

“Nice to meet you Mrs. Kippen, Your home is beautiful”

“Oh no honey just Ms. But feel free to call me Hannah. Anyway I have to go, I made you boys pancakes with bacon and eggs. I’ll see you when I get home. It was a pleasure Cyrus.” She waved goodbye and head out. TJ and I served ourselves food and sat at the counter. It was really cute seeing him be all embarrassed and shy. I’ve seen a lot of that since last night, then the memory of him getting all flustered when I asked if he called me adorable came back and I looked up at TJ with a grin on my face and giggled. 

“What? Why are you laughing?” TJ looked up defensively.

“Nothing” I said nonchalantly looking back to my breakfast a smile still plastered on my face.

“Hey no that’s no fair I want to know too” TJ whined and my smile widened.

“So what’s the game plan for today?” I asked changing the subject and he sighed admitting defeat.

“You said you wanted to swim right?” I thought for a moment, I did say that. I don’t actually want to though, it’s cold.

“Um no thanks I’m cold. I don’t have a swim suit anyways” I smiled.

“Well we could go bug Amber at the spoon later and then come back here to watch movies or something?”

I nodded before getting up to wash my dish. After I washed mine I went to sit on the couch and check my phone there was a few texts in the group chat

> **Buffy: Hey want to meet at the spoon?** **   
** **Andi: Sure I’ll ask mom** **   
** **Marty: Anywhere with u love** **   
** **Jonah: Sure thing c u there** **   
** **Andi: Ew Marty keep the PDA out of the group-chat** **   
** **Marty: lol** **   
** **Jonah: Hey has anyone heard from Cyrus? Haven’t seen him since after the game** **   
** **Cyrus: I’m at TJ’s** **   
** **Andi: still?** **   
** **Cyrus: Yeah I slept at his house. We’ll meet you at the Spoon we were going to go soon** **   
** **Marty: Be careful with him Cy okay?** **   
** **Cyrus: huh?** **   
** **Buffy: Babe TJ is harmless** **   
** **Marty: I know just-** **   
** **Marty: Nvm c u there guys**

I clicked off my phone and shrugged off Marty’s behavior. 

“Hey Teej you okay with meeting the GHC plus Marty and Jonah at the spoon?”

“Uh yeah for sure let’s go?”

I nodded and we head off we didn’t really say much but it was a comfortable silence. Once we got to the spoon we saw that Buffy and Marty were the only ones there.

“Hey where’s Andi and Jonah?” I asked sliding into the booth.

“Jonah is running late and Bex said no because Andi needs to clean her room.”

“Oh makes sense” I glanced at TJ and Marty, there seemed to have some sort of tension between the two. I wondered if they got into a fight and that’s why Marty warned me away from him.

“I’m going to go to the bathroom be back” TJ broke the silence and walked away.

“Why are you hanging out with _h__im_ Cy?” Marty asked, a coldness in his voice.

“He’s only liked TJ since 7th grade Marty” Buffy gave him a confused look.

“I know that but like who asked to hang out?”

“TJ did, Marty why are you acting like this? You never had a problem with him before” Buffy answered for me.

“I can’t tell you. Cy what did you do last night at his house?” Marty asked staring at me. I felt my throat get tight. I didn’t want them to be upset with TJ so I didn’t want to tell them.

“Uhm we watched some movies” I looked away.

“Wait Cy why are you lying? What did he do tell me” Buffy joined the interrogation and I sighed. Unlike Marty, I knew she wasn’t going to let it go until I told her.

“Don’t be mad at TJ because it was my choice.. promise?”

“Cy did you two-” Marty started but was cut off by Buffy.

“Fine promise. What did you do”

“He offered me a beer and I kind of got a little tipsy so I stayed at his house so my parents didn't know..” I said weakly looking down at my hands.

“He what! Cyrus! We are talking about this later with Andi.” Buffy yelled at me and took a deep breath.

“Cyrus I don’t think you should hang out with him” Marty stated

“It wasn’t his fault I chose to”

“I know that Cy but he's-” Marty stopped when we noticed TJ coming back.

~~~

After a tense hour or so Marty and Buffy announced that they were going to see a movie and had to leave and since Jonah never showed up it left just Cyrus and I sitting alone at the table. We sat silently at the table for a few minutes while Cyrus finished his baby taters and I wondered if Marty had said something while I was in the bathroom. 

“You okay Underdog? You’re being really quiet.” I asked softly worried about the answer I would recieve.

“Yeah just thinking about.. Stuff”

“Want to talk about it?” I looked at him with hopeful eyes and he sighed.

“At your house yeah?” He looked up at me and I nodded

“Alright let's go.”

-

Once we got to the house Cyrus went and sat on my sofa.

“Want a drink?” I asked walking over to the fridge.

“Um” Cyrus looked back and me and I laughed softly as I pulled out a soda can.

“Don’t worry Underdog, just soda” I smiled as he visibly relaxed and nodded. I sat down on the couch beside him, slightly farther than I had the night before.

“So what’s up Underdog? What’s goin on?”

“I think Buffy is mad at me or disappointed in me at least”

“How come? She didn’t seem upset”

“I told her about last night. She kinda yelled at me and said we were going to talk about it with Andi.” He looked sad and I felt my stomach drop. I got him in trouble with his friends.

“I’m sorry that’s my fault, I’ll talk to them okay?” 

“No it’s not okay TJ, it wasn’t your fault. I should have known better than to accept a drink. Now if they tell my parents I’m never going to be able to see you again and that’s my fault” I saw a tear roll down his face and had to resist the urge to pull him closer and hug him.

“They wouldn’t do that would they? Do you really think they would tell on you?” I asked nervously, I didn’t want to lose him.

“I don’t know if Andi or Buffy would but Marty seemed like he wanted me to stop-” He cut himself off and stared at me.

“Marty doesn’t like me all the much does he?” I looked up at him and he shook his head. I knew he didn’t but knowing that he made it clear to Cyrus made me nervous. He wasn’t going to tell him was he? I sighed.

“Well let’s make the most of this weekend. Hopefully Buffy doesn’t let him tell” I smiled silently hoping Marty didn’t tell Buffy what he knew. I didn’t think they would tell Cyrus’s parents in spite of me because that would hurt him more than it would hurt me, but maybe they would just so I’d lose him. I’m weary of the future but pretended it didn’t bother me so I didn’t stress Cyrus out. He meant the world to me but because of my own insecurities and stupidity I have to constantly worry about him being taken away from me. I didn’t care about any stupid bet anymore I just want to be with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hannah Kippen is pretty keen on TJ's crush but pretty in the dark on the rest of the situation, as is mostly everyone else. Do you think Marty is going to throw TJ under the bus?  
Just out of curiosity are ya'll picking up on what TJ did? I'm kinda indirectly revealing more and more of it each chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I totally am posting a 3rd part for today BUT its okay because I'm probably going to post a fourth part for today too :)

I sat on my bedroom floor across from Andi and Buffy. It had been nearly a week since I had slept over at TJ’s and Buffy hardly trusted me alone with him. It was finally about time we talked about what happened. I failed to see why they made such a big deal about it but at the same time I could understand why they’d be concerned. I  _ never _ did stuff like this, until I met him that is.

“Cyrus what the heck were you thinking?” Andi questioned, having just been fully informed on the situation.

“I don’t know, I don’t get why it’s such a big deal! People our age drink all the time.” I stared back at the girls who had looked at me like I had just kicked a puppy.

“It’s not like you to do stuff like that Cyrus, we’re worried” Buffy said softly, picking up on the tension in the room.

“So what? I have to be good _ all  _ the time now? I can’t have fun? I liked it and I don’t understand why you guys are treating TJ like the enemy. You guys drink at parties why is this different? He took care of me and cut me off before I could get myself sick.” I retorted defensively. Both girls looked taken aback at my sudden burst of aggression.

“Cyrus we aren’t trying to upset you, we just want to make sure you’re okay.” Andi looked at me with sad eyes and I felt bad for snapping at them, until Buffy chimed in.

“Are you acting like this to impress him or something Cyrus? Did he make you because you’re starting to act like him”

“Are you kidding me right now? Is that what you think of me Buffy? You think I’m incapable of being my own person and I’m just going to do whatever he tells me? If I didn’t want to try it, I wouldn’t have. Just like if I don’t want to talk about this anymore I don’t have to because it doesn’t affect you. As a matter of fact, I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” I snapped getting up off the floor and sitting on the bed.

“I’m sorry Cyrus that’s not what I meant.. I’ll go sorry” I didn’t look up but heard Buffy get up and leave.

“Buffy wait no-” I stood up to stop her, suddenly regretting snapping at her, but she had already left.

“Text her, it’ll be okay Cyrus” Andi smiled softly, sitting beside me. I nodded and did so getting no response.

“I don’t know why I’m acting like this Andi… I’ve never been so… rude before” I looked over at Andi who gave me a look of pity.

“Hey you have every right to blow up like that. You were right, we had no right to go after you like that, holding you to a different standard than ourselves or any of our other friends” I smiled at her

“Thanks Andi, I hope I didn’t hurt her too much I feel really bad.”

“She’ll be okay Cyrus don’t worry. I have to go, Bex wants me home for dinner but I’ll text you later?”

“Okay sounds good talk to you later” I waved bye as I watched her leave and sighed. I laid in bed for a few hours and heard my phone go off. I picked up quickly hoping it was Buffy texting back, it wasn't.

> **Teej: Yo Underdog! Party at my place this sat, you down?** **  
** **Cyrus: Yeah I’ll ask, what time?** **  
** **Teej: starts at 8, end TBD. You can sleep over if you want** **  
** **Cyrus: ok cool let me ask** **  
** **Cyrus: mom said yes c u saturday @ 7?** **  
** **Teej: cool c u then, invite andi & jonah? I think Marty invited Buffy alright** **  
** **Cyrus: Alright**

I smiled and switched to the group chat.

> **Cyrus: party @ TJ’s friday @8 u guys going?** **  
** **Andi: can’t i have to finish my english essay sorry** **  
** **Jonah: I’ll try but idk since its Thursday night my mom will probably say no cuz it’s last min** **  
** **Marty: I’m going** **  
** **Buffy: no ur not its date night** **  
** **Marty: oh nvm I’m not going** **  
** **Cyrus: Oh ok well I’m going so if any 1 decides to go I’ll c u there**

I sighed I wish at least one of my friends were going. TJ is going to have all of his friends there so I’ll probably be alone and bored.

\---

Friday went by slow and Saturday morning even slower, but it was finally time for me to head to TJ’s. My mom dropped me off and waited until I had gone into the house before she left.

“Hey Cyrus! You excited?”

“Yeah totally! Is your mom here?”

“No her and Amber are out for a girls weekend so they’ll be gone all weekend.”

“Oh cool so we have the house to ourselves”

“Yup, by the way are you wearing my sweatshirt?” TJ laughed and I looked down. I was wearing his sweater, it’s warm and I really liked it.

“No I’m wearing my sweater, you gave it up when you let me leave your house wearing it” I smiled brightly at him and he laughed shaking his head.

“Alright Underdog, whatever you say” He bit his lip and winked at me before turning around and leading me outside. My face was red but I pretended I was unphased by the not so discreet flirting. We have half an hour until the party so I was going to help set up. We were setting cups on a table when I got a text from Marty.

> **Marty: Hey be careful tonight okay Cyrus? Don’t leave your drink unattended or accept open drinks, those guys are jerks. If you need anything call me and me and Buffy will head out asap ok?** **  
** **Cyrus: I’ll be okay Marty but thank u** **  
** **Cyrus: tell Buffy I said hi?** **  
** **Cyrus: is she still mad at me?** **  
** **Marty: no she thinks ur mad at her** **  
** **Cyrus: I’m not** **  
** **Cyrus: I gtg I’m helping TJ set up** **  
** **Marty: Set up what?** **  
** **Marty: Cyrus?** **  
** **Cyrus: sorry we were putting cups and drinks out ttyl**

I didn't know why Marty was acting weird, he had gone to TJ’s parties before. I guess he knows what to expect more than I do but I couldn’t shake off the feeling that something was up. He’s been acting weird since I started to hang out with TJ. I was pulled out of my thoughts by the doorbell ringing, signalling the first group of people were here. I glanced at the clock, it was 8:16, they were fashionably late but still the first people here. TJ started the music and opened the door, propping it open with a pile of books. Handing me a drink with a bright smile on his face. I kept Marty’s words in mind and made sure to open the drink myself. Even though I didn’t think he would try anything I still wanted to be weary. Better safe than sorry right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a little bit shorter but I have a lot planned for the party so I wanted to split it up some. This is pre-party and I'm not sure if the actual party is going to be one chapter or two, we'll see.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok this is the fourth update but I'm on a roll. It's 11:20 pm so the next chapter will technically be up tomorrow because I doubt I'm going to finish it in 40 minutes :) Hope you enjoy. Leave comments and kudos y'all it makes me happy. I'm starting to feel a tad discouraged because this an uneven ratio of hits to kudos. Please and thank you <3

It was now 10 pm, the party was in full swing. TJ told me he expected it to die down and end by 1 am. I was by myself, only on my second drink. I watched the crowd, observing the group of drunk teenagers “dancing” in the living room. There was a group of people in the kitchen making mixed drinks and a group outside playing beer pong, both on land and in the pool. I wanted to go home but I told TJ I would sleep over and already smelled like booze, I wouldn’t be able to explain that to my parents without getting TJ or myself in trouble so I just sat and waited. TJ came up to me and seemed rather excited,

“Underdog! There you are, I've been trying to find you! Come on you’re my new partner for beer pong, Reed sucks and we keep losing.”

“I’ve never played before so you’ll probably still lose” I shouted over the music as TJ took my hand and guided me outside.

“That’s fine Underdog, we still need a new person to play because Ethan passed out. So I’m trading you for Reed” We stopped in front of the table and TJ briefly explained the game to me before we started. I quickly learned it was pretty easy while you are sober, but after having to take a few drinks it became harder. I was pretty sure the cups were filled with something much stronger than what I had tried before and it only took a couple before the world around me started spinning. After the game, which shockingly TJ and I won, TJ took my hand and guided me back inside. We stood at the top of the stairwell staring at each other for a moment before TJ started talking.

“You’re really good at that game Underdog” he giggled, was he giggling or was I just really drunk? I leaned against the wall looking down.

“No not really I’m good at getting drunk though” I laughed smiling softly

“Only because you’re light weight and not used to it. You’re really cute drunk though Underdog, I think I could get used to it” I looked up at TJ, my eyes wide and realized his face was inches from mine. I watched as his eyes darted from mine to my lips.

“TJ…” I whispered looking at his lips, my eyes fluttering shut as he leaned in kissing me. I felt my heart speed up at the feeling. He tasted like a mix of peppermint and alcohol. I felt my knees weaken and I wrapped my arm around his neck to steady myself and he deepened the kiss.

“I’m really drunk” I mumbled against his lips

“I know Cy, I know” He pulled away, a look on his face that I could only place as guilt. What did he have to feel bad about? I leaned forward putting all my weight against him and felt my world fade away.

~~~

I woke up in bed at 11am, I looked over to see Cyrus was still asleep. I shifted slightly and realized I didn’t put a shirt on and panicked for a moment before the memories of last night played through my mind. Cyrus had passed out in my arms and I brought him to the bed and stayed outside the room so no one else went in. I couldn’t remember why I didn’t have a shirt on. I sat up ignoring the pounding in my head recounting what happened that night.

“I kissed him” I whispered to myself, mentally cursing myself. Why did I do that, it wasn’t supposed to get this far. I couldn’t remember why I wasn’t wearing a shirt and just assumed that I was too drunk to get it on. I knew nothing happened because Cyrus was fully clothed and let out a breath of relief. I went into my bathroom and took some aspirin before putting some out for Cyrus along with a glass of water. I went downstairs and started breakfast, I was almost done when Cyrus joined me downstairs.

“Morning Underdog.. You hungry?”

“Yes. I feel terrible. Thanks for the aspirin.” He mumbled sitting at the counter.

“No problem” I replied as I finished up the food it was just eggs and some bacon. I served us both and set his plate down in front of him.

“Thank you. My mom is coming soon but we need to talk about last night later okay?” He mumbled into his eggs and my stomach dropped.

“Last night? Wh-what about last night?” I stuttered nervously and Cyrus looked up at me, a hinge of annoyance in his eyes.

“You know what about TJ don’t-” He was cut off mid sentence by the sound of a car honking its horn. “That’s my mom, I’ll text you when I’m not hungover.” He smiled softly at me before getting up and leaving, waving goodbye at the door. I watched as he walked out into the autumn air and shut the door behind him. He didn’t seem mad so that was a relief. I knew the guys on the basketball were going to push for this to go farther, and I wanted it to go farther. I couldn’t tell them that though. I had to end this before Cyrus finds out and gets hurt.

~~~~

After convincing my parents that I was groggy because I stayed up really late, my parents let me go to the Spoon. I texted the chat that was with just Buffy, Andi, and I.

> **Cyrus: meet at the spoon in 10 ghc meeting asap** **   
** **Andi: omw** **   
** **Buffy: sure is everything ok** **   
** **Cyrus: yup** **   
** **Buffy: Can Marty come? I’m at his house** **   
** **Cyrus: um sure that's fine**

I was hesitant on having Marty go since I was going to tell them about the kiss, and he wasn’t exactly TJ’s biggest fan but I feel bad saying no so I said yes. Once we were all at the Spoon I broke the silence that had grown amongst us.

“I kissed him or well he kissed me but I kissed back” I rushed out and looked up excited, both girls looked excited but Marty looked rather upset.

“You did?! What happened spill!” Andi was the first to speak and Buffy and Marty looked at me waiting for me to respond.

“Well we played beer pong, which we won by the way, and after the game I was admittedly kind of drunk. We went upstairs and stood in the hallway. He said I was good at the game and I joked about how I wasn’t but I was good at getting drunk. He said it was because I was light and not used to drinking.. Then he said I was cute and I realized how close he was. I felt my eyes flutter shut and..” I looked at them a smile plastered on my face.

“You guys didn’t go any further than that right?” Buffy asked tilting her head.

“Oh god no, I'm so not ready for that. I passed out in his arms and woke up in the bed alone. I’m not sure if he slept in the bed or not. Guys, I think I’m falling in love with him. We get along so well, we always have, we can tell each other everything.. I- I don’t know, maybe it’s just me but I’m hopeful. We still haven’t talked about it”

Marty glanced at his phone and started getting up, “my mom texted me I have to go, I’ll see you later Buffy” he kissed Buffy goodbye and left before we could say anything.

“That… was weird” Andi said after a few minutes of us sitting in silence.

“Yeah it was, his phone didn’t even go off. His mom knew we were here”

“Do you think he's mad at me?” I asked looking up at the two girls who sat across from me.

“I doubt it Cyrus, he probably just had his phone muted. Or we just didn’t feel the vibrate” Andi smiled softly as to reassure me. I didn’t feel reassured though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Marty is not happy about this. How do you guys feel about what happened?


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: angst ahead. The next couple chapters are going to be pretty angsty oops/

I finished cleaning up the last of the empty beer bottles and sat on the sofa, deciding to relax for a few minutes before wiping the counters down. Just as I got comfortable I heard knocking on the door and looked up confused. Whoever was knocking was knocking like they were mad. I opened the door slightly and poked my head out.

“Marty? What are you-” I started but he cut me off and pushed his way into my house.

“Alright Kippen this is getting out of hand you need to stop, you need to end this.”

“What are you talking about man?” I asked although I had a feeling I knew.

“You know exactly what I mean. You’re going to break him TJ you need to stop. He thinks you love him man, it’s not funny anymore” I had my back against the wall, I had never seen Marty this mad before. He looked like he was just about ready to punch me.

“I- I do” I sputtered out and his expression changed slightly to confusion

“You do?”

“I do Marty, I love him I really do. I- it wasn’t supposed to get this far. I don't deserve him I know I don’t. I- I’ve liked him since eighth grade. I shouldn’t have started talking to him for a bet. I don’t want it to get that far for twenty bucks man. I should have talked to him on my own terms but I was scared… It was easier when I could pretend it was a joke but its not. I am in love with him” I looked at Marty with tears welling up in my eyes and his expression changed again, it softened.

“Look TJ you have to come clean. You have to tell the basketball boys”

“I will I swear I will-”

“I wasn’t done TJ you have to tell the basketball boys and you have to tell Cyrus. Tell him the truth.”

“I- I can’t he’ll hate me, he can’t know” I was crying now, as I desperately begged him not to make me tell Cyrus.

“I’m not going to make you man but you know the rest of the guys won’t have the same consideration.” He gave me a look of pity and I felt my heart sink. He was right, the other boys on the team were definitely going to tell him. It was just a matter of who told him first.

“I got to go Kippen. Talk to him alright?” Marty said leaving me in the house alone feeling defeated. There was no way this was going to end well. It’s my own fault I should have known better. I sat on the sofa again, feeling defeated. I stared at my phone and it buzzed, a message from Cyrus. I felt my throat tighten.

**Underdog: Hey can we talk?** **   
** **TJ: Um yeah where?** **   
** **Underdog: Swings in 10?** **   
** **TJ: Sure leaving soon.**

I slid my shoes on and hesitantly stepped outside. I wasn’t sure what I was going to say but I didn’t want to tell him yet. I knew I had to. I sat on my porch for five minutes hesitant to leave until I finally took a deep breath and left. When I got there, he was already on the swingsets. I smiled softly watching him swing before I came up behind him.

“Underdog” I laughed pushing him higher, laughing a little harder when he screamed.

“You can’t just sneak up on people like that!”

“I gave warning!” I teased sitting on the swing next to him, god I was really going to miss him.

“So we have to talk about it TJ… What- what are we now?” He looked up at me with hopeful eyes and I swallowed hard.

“We’re friends Underdog, we’ll always be friends right?” I said, smiling weakly as his expression faded, he looked upset.

“Friends don’t know what friend taste like TJ, friends don’t act how we act” I could tell he was trying to sound mad but I could tell he was hurt.

“Look Cyrus.. I just- I was drunk and I don’t want to lose you, I love you Cy and I’m sorry I did that, I shouldn’t have. I think- I think I let the basketball guys push me too far.. They bet me I couldn’t get you after all this time and I-”

“You think? Wait- They made you do that? So was any of it real TJ? Or was this all some prank?” He started shouting, getting up by the swing.

“No no Cy wait let me explain it’s not like that” I grabbed his arm to stop him from leaving. 

“No- no Marty was right. You play too much TJ. Since hanging out with you again I have done things I know I shouldn’t have, I have been confused, I have been hopeful and now I got myself hurt.”

“Cyrus I’m sorry please I love you” I looked at him, mentally begging myself not to cry as I watched him take my sweater off.

“You aren’t sorry TJ, you- you made your choice. Here take your sweater back TJ. I don’t need a physical reminder that I got played” He dropped the sweater at my feet and I took a shallow breath before releasing it shakily.

“Please Cyrus let me explain” I was crying now, but Cyrus wasn’t. He looked angry and I felt afraid. “I don’t want to lose you Underdog”

“Too late.” his voice was cold and he pulled his arm away and left.

“Cyrus please!” I cried out but he didn’t stop, he didn’t turn around. He left and I let him. I lost him for real this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TJ really messed up this time huh? Do you guys think he can fix it?


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't know if yall are going to hate me for this butttttt let me know what you think? This is a little bit of a shorter chapter I think but I don't want to cram everything you know what I mean?

I turned down the empty corridor of Grant High School, I was waiting for Buffy and Marty to finish practice. Any other day I would have been in the gym watching but I have successfully avoided TJ for a month and still did not want to see him. So I sat and waited outside the locker room hoping they made it out before him. I started working on my homework, listening to the sounds of sneakers squeaking against the gym floor, the ball hitting the backboard, the sound of Tj’s voice calling out plays, and all the other sounds that came along with basketball practice. I sighed, looking up. I should be in there watching but I couldn’t bring myself to. I looked back down and continued my homework when I heard a door click. I looked up at the gym door and when I didn’t see anyone, I turned to the locker room to see a boy I had seen many times before.

“Cyrus right? TJ talks about you sometimes” He sat down across from me and I avoided eye contact. He was on the basketball team.

“Why aren’t you practicing? Aren’t you on the team?” I muttered and he laughed.

“TJ benched me because he’s mad at me.” I didn’t respond and heard him sigh.

“He dropped out of the bet you know? He’s been lashing out at all of us because you found out.”

“Am I supposed to feel bad for you?” I practically spat at him, a bitterness in my voice.

“No you’re not, I get why you’re mad. That wasn’t real cool of us man, but TJ feels really bad”

“I don’t feel bad for him either. He dug his grave now he gets to sit in it. He agreed to that stupid bet, I still don’t even know what it was. All I know is he led me on for it”

“Well he always talked about you because he liked you and he was to chicken shit to talk to you. So we each put 20 bucks in that he could ya know what with you if he wanted. He didn’t think he could so he said whatever and decided to talk to you. He was never going to go through with it, I think it was easier for him to do if he knew that he could play it off as a dare in the case you rejected him.”

I stared at him in shock, they put money on that? “You’re all disgusting. Now if you don’t mind I have homework” I looked back down at my notebook and started writing. He leaned forward and closed the notebook.

“Dude what the hell”

“Look Goodman get over yourself and talk to him. He loves you dude stop being a jerk”

“I’m being a jerk? I’m sorry but I’m not the one who placed a bet with my friends on being able to sleep with him. I’m not the one who got him drunk for the first time and made him lie to his parents. I have never had to lie to my parents before. I’m not the one who played with his head for so long… He broke my heart and I have every right to be angry. Now leave me the hell alone” I was yelling now, I had shoved all my things into my bag and stood up by the time I finished ranting. I started walking away and he grabbed my arm to stop me.

“Goodman-”

“I said leave me alone!” I yelled seeing nothing but red, and promptly punched him in the face.

“Cyrus!” I looked up, the realization of what I just did hitting me as I felt pain shoot through my hand. Buffy, Marty, and TJ. I wasn’t sure who had yelled at me. I looked at the boy, his nose was bleeding, he and everyone else standing in the hall looked shocked. I made eye contact with TJ for a moment and felt tears well up in my eyes. I still love him, I knew I did, and seeing him made it hard to get over him.

“I have to go.” I muttered, quickly scrambling down the hall.

“Cyrus wait” I heard someone yell after me, I couldn’t tell who it was but regardless I didn’t turn around. I didn’t stop till I had made it home and locked my bedroom door behind me. Once I had gotten in my room I let myself cry, for the first time since I found out. I finally broke down, I threw everything off my desk screaming in frustration. I had never been more glad my parents were out. Eventually I sat down at my now empty desk letting myself turn into a puddle of tears. I knew my parents would come home to a locked door and a room that looked like a hurricane hit it, but I couldn’t find it within myself to care.

I felt like my world was crashing down around me. I was embarrassed, broken hearted, and angry. Angry at the basketball boys for convincing TJ to do this to me, mad at Marty for not telling me he knew, mad at TJ for doing it. But more than anything I was mad at myself. For so many reasons. I was mad at myself for believing him, for letting myself be so naive, for drinking, for lying to my parents, for thinking there was even a slight possibility that someone like me was capable of being with someone like him. So I let myself cry for hours until I fell asleep with my head on my desk, letting the numbness of sleep wash over me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oop I may have been projecting onto Cyrus a little, but honestly I think its realistic for him to feel like this. Also how do you feel about what he did omg he really snapped.


	9. Chapter 9

“Cyrus! Cyrus Goodman open this door right now”

I sat up and looked around the room, remembering what had happened. It was dark now and i wondered how long I had been asleep. I heard knocking on the door again and jumped.

“Cyrus! Dammit open the door!” I heard my mother’s irritated voice from behind my closed door.

“S-sorry I was asleep” I stuttered getting up and unlocking the door. I glanced into the mirror hanging on the door, my eyes were red and puffy. My hand was bruised and hurt to move. The door clicked open and I caught sight of my angry mother scanning the mess in my room.

“Cyrus what on earth-” She cut herself off looking at me. Her face softened and I felt tears welling up in my eyes again as she pulled me into a hug.

“Oh Cyrus what’s wrong love?” She said softly, running her hands through my hair. I started crying again and she tightened the hug.

“I got played mom. I got played” I mumbled into her shirt between muffled sobs.

“Oh honey do you want to talk about it?” I shook my head no and pulled away from her, putting my hand out.

“I did something” I said, barely above a whisper as she took my hand.

“Did you punch the boy that hurt you love? Can you bend your fingers?” She looked at me and started trying to bend my fingers one by one. I yelped in pain and snatched my hand away.

“No apparently not! And no I didn’t but I punched his friend.”

“Why would you do that Cyrus?”

“He wouldn’t leave me alone, he wanted me to talk to him and wouldn’t accept no as an answer because apparently he loves me”

“Well we have to go have your hand looked at dear. If you can’t move it, it may be broken. I’ll call your father while you get ready okay?”

“Don’t tell him mom!”

“You know I have to love. We’ll talk about this mess later okay?” She smiled softly and left the room, closing the door behind her and I let out a scream in frustration. I had never taken my shoes off so I just threw on a sweater and checked my phone. I had 2 missed calls, one from Buffy and the other from Marty. 4 texts from the GHC group chat + Marty and 5 texts from TJ. I opened the group chat first.

> **Andi: Cyrus are you okay? Buffy and Marty told me what happened** ****  
**Marty: You didn’t break Kyle’s nose but you messed it up pretty bad man** ****  
**Buffy: Cyrus text us so we know you’re ok** ****  
**Buffy: Is your hand ok** ****  
**Cyrus: My mom is making me go to the hospital** ****  
**Cyrus: She thinks I broke it** ****  
**Marty: Woah really** ****  
**Cyrus: Yeah I’ll try to text you guys later** ****  
**Cyrus: Based on the status of my room I might be grounded** ****  
**Cyrus: *1 attachment*** ****  
**Andi: What did you do!** **  
** **Cyrus: Broke down threw everything everywhere** **  
** **Cyrus: Ttyl**

I backed out of the chat and stared at TJ’s contact. Apart of me wanted to just delete the messages entirely but I opened them anyway.

> **Teej: Cyrus I am so sorry I didn’t know he was going to bug you** ****  
**Teej: is your hand ok?** ****  
**Teej: Please say something** **  
** **Teej: I love you Underdog can we please talk about what happened** **  
** **Teej: It wasn’t supposed to be like this**

My mom knocked on the door startling me, “Let’s go love” 

I nodded and got up following her, clicking my phone off. I’d respond to him later, if at all.

~~~

I checked my phone for the millionth time that evening waiting for Cyrus to text me back. He had opened the message over 3 hours ago and since it was now 10pm, I doubted he was going to respond. I started to give up hope and placed my phone down when my phone went off, sounding the text notification twice.

> **Underdog: Well guys I didn’t break my hand but I fractured it. My mental break down bullshit has really gotten me far hasn't it** ****  
**Underdog: wrong chat sorry** ****  
**TJ: Are you ok?** ****  
**TJ: Cy?** ****  
**Underdog: wrong chat.** ****  
**TJ: I’m sorry** **  
** **TJ: Can we talk please?** **  
** ***read at 10:15pm***

I stared at my phone and sighed defeat.

“He’s still not talking to you?” I looked up with tears in my eyes and Amber sat on the bed beside me.

“I don’t know how to fix this Amber. I really messed up this time. Classic TJ anything good I gotta ruin it” I wiped the tears away from my eyes.

“Hey he has every right to be upset TJ you made your choice now you have to deal with the aftermath. He’ll come around eventually TJ, he loves you”

“He fractured his hand and it’s my fault”

“Yeah I heard about that, it’s Kyle’s fault if anything. That boy does not know what no means.”

“Yeah that’s true.. I just I wish I hadn’t done it. I wish I could take it back and just stop being a coward and approach him on my own”

“I know TJ, I’ll talk to him but I can’t promise you it’ll change things. You really hurt him TJ.”

I laid in bed staring at the ceiling and Amber left quietly. If you had told me a month and a half ago taking this bet was going to destroy me I would have thought you were crazy, but I know better now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how many more chapters there is going to be, we are nearing the end yall.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end is near! I think maybe one or two more chapters left.

I woke up and stared at the ceiling above me. Bless whoever came up with Saturdays. I had laid there for about an hour playing different sad songs, I was listening to “The Saddest Song” by Alec Benjamin when I heard a light knock on my door.

“I’m not hungry mom” I called out, rolling over in bed a lowering the music slightly

“It’s Amber, can I come in?”

“I’m sorry Amber, I can’t be a therapist today”

“I’m not here to talk about me Cyrus. Can I come in?”

“Okay” I sighed and sat up as the door clicked open. Amber walked in holding a bag of stuff and closed the door behind her.

“How’s your hand?” She smiled softly

“In pain, but that’s my fault”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself Cy. I brought: icecream, movies, and candy. You’re going to be okay” I smiled at her as she pulled the things out of the bag placing them on my bed and put a movie on the TV that sat on top of my dresser.

She didn’t play the movie but I assumed it was because I had the music running. She sat beside me and opened my container of ice cream before handing it to me with a spoon. I thanked her and we sat there listening to the music. After a few songs, the song “Use Me” by Alec Benjamin came on and at the second verse I let out a soft cry.

_ “I know that it’s too easy to get me to do anything you ask I know that you don’t need me But you know that I will keep on coming back” _

  
  


“Am I stupid Amber?” I leaned against my headboard and stabbed my icecream with the spoon.

“For what?”

“For missing him? For wanting to hear his probably empty apology so I can have him here again”

“No, you love him and that’s valid.. And Cy? I promise you his apology will be anything but empty. He really regrets it, he loves you” I groaned as she spoke

“People keep telling me that and it makes it so hard to be mad. How do you know he does what if he’s lying to you too?”

“Cy I live with him, I know better than anyone. He’s cried himself to sleep like everyday this month. He misses you believe me”

I looked at her for a moment absorbing what she had told me. He’s cried a lot more than me, I barely broke down last night. Or well I guess yesterday in the late afternoon when I fractured my hand.

“I don’t want to talk to him right now”

“And I’m not going to make you, I’m just telling you how it is. What you choose to do with that information is up to you. I am only here to eat junk food and hang out.” She smiled warmly, opening up a bag of gummy worms. 

She gave me this information so I can do what I want with it, but I didn’t know what I wanted and now I’m more confused than anything. I decided to figure out what to do later and just relax for now. I think I’ve earned some time to just exist and relax so I was going to take it.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly the chapters are getting kind of short because I want this to last as long as I can make it lol

I woke up due to light shining into my eyes and groaned before sitting up. I looked around my room and realized someone had opened up all of my curtains. _ Probably Amber  _ I thought to myself before getting up to close them all. I haven’t really done much since Cyrus stopped talking to me, other than sit in my room being sad while listening to music.

I sat at my desk and looked at a framed picture of Cyrus and I in middle school. I noticed some sticky notes on my desk and read them.

_ “You’ll be okay” “Positive thoughts bring positive action so think positive” “Love you Ty ~ Ambs” _

I smiled softly and stuck them to my wall. I checked my phone and sighed at the lack of texts from Cyrus. Usually I always had at least one message from Cyrus whenever I checked my phone, he’d always send me random memes that I thought were dumb, but none-the-less I loved getting them.

**Marty: Yo Teej, how u doing? Any better?** **   
** **TJ: no** **   
** **Marty: yeah dumb question, i have good news tho** **   
** **TJ: spill?** **   
** **Marty: cy is getting there man** **   
** **Marty: I explained the situation to him sorta** **   
** **Marty: I think he talked to your sister too** **   
** **Marty: I don't know what she said but it worked** **   
** **TJ: thanks man** **   
** **Marty: no problem dude I hate seeing you so miserable** **   
** **Marty: also i want to actually win a game this season and you’re off your game b.c. he’s not around** **   
** **TJ: am not!** **   
** **Marty: lol ok if you say so** **   
** **Marty: gtg man c u**

I clicked my phone and smiled softly. I didn’t deserve a second chance but I was so grateful that the odds were in my favor. After sitting at my desk I found myself writing out a letter to Cyrus. I didn’t know if I wanted to give it to him but it made me feel better so I wrote it out and put it in an envelope. I left it on my desk and left my room. I walked into the kitchen and opened up the fridge.

“Out of the fridge TJ!” Amber yelled at me from the living room

“I want a soda!” I yelled back, grabbing one and closing the fridge.

“Let me see what you have. I don’t believe you” Amber called and I sighed walking into the living room. I raised the can and stuck my tongue out at her.

“I’m not an alcoholic Amber” I sat down at the other end of the couch

“I know but I also know how you get when you go through these depressive episodes and you can’t pretend you don't. Mom almost sent you to rehab.”

“I wasn’t even that bad! Mom was just afraid I was turning into him”

“I know but I think it's just because of how close you are.”

“We’re not anymre, I  _ hate _ him now”

“No you don’t Teej, he’s still our dad”

“Yes I do. I don’t care if he’s my dad. He’s not shit to me anymore. He found out I was gay and nearly killed me Amber. For all I care he doesn’t exist”

Amber offered me a soft smile to let me know she understood and I sighed.

“So did Marty tell you about Cyrus?”

“Yeah he did. I wrote Cy a letter but I don’t think I’ll give it to him”

“You should give it to him”

“And you should tell Andi how you feel” I stuck my tongue out at her again and watched her face turn bright red.

“Actually” she smiled brightly at me and I laughed softly in disbelief

“What did she say?”

“We’ve been together for three weeks”

“And you didn’t say anything!?”

“I tried but it never came up, you were so upset and I felt like if I announced it, I’d basically be rubbing it in your face. I wouldn’t flex on you like that”

“Hey you should never feel bad for stuff like that. You’re my sister and I will always be happy for you.”

“Thanks TJ” She smiled at me and I smiled back. I was pretty lucky to have her as a sister. I don’t think I could ever ask for a better one. As far as I was concerned she was the best.


	12. Chapter 12

“So Marty says you’ve made a decision about TJ?” Buffy asked curiously as we turned down the slightly crowded corridor of Grant High School.

“No. Yes? I don’t know Buffy I’m just confused. I mean everyone wants me to hear him out but I don’t know why I should. If he really loved me why would he hurt me like that? Why would he tell me?” I sighed and started spinning the dial to open my locker.

“He told you the truth because Marty made him, it would’ve been worse if the other guys on the team told you and well all know that.”

“Well look how that worked out. I still don’t get it, if he told them not to they probably wouldn’t have.”

“You don’t know the guys on the team that well Cy. Most of them maybe not but there is definitely a couple who would.”

“Reed right?” I asked, finally getting my locker open.

“Right. Hey what’s that?” Buffy pointed to an envelope that had fluttered out of my locker and landed at my feet.

“An envelope” I replied picking it up. It had  _ Cyrus Goodman _ written on the front with the nicest cursive writing that I was immediately able to recognize as TJ’s.

“It’s from TJ” I sighed, putting it on the shelf of my locker and switching the books in my bag for ones I needed with help from Buffy. My hand was really getting on my nerves but I can only be mad at myself.

“How do you know? It didn’t say.”

“It was his writing.”

“Aren’t you going to read it?”

“Later, there are only two classes left. I won’t die if I wait till I go home.”

“I might! Can I read it?”

“Wh- Okay” I shook my head, rolling my eyes and handed her the envelope, knowing better than trying to reason with her. She squealed in excitement and took the envelope from my hand.

“Okay I will see you in seventh period and give it to you then” She smiled and walked away with a wave. I laughed softly as I watched her leave, scanning the hall for TJ. I didn’t see him but it made sense, his locker was on the opposite side of campus and I didn’t know when he put the envelope in my locker.

\---

It had been 4 hours since I had discovered the envelope in my locker. I was home and now finished with my homework. I still hadn’t read it and Buffy wouldn’t tell me what it said. All she would tell me was that it made her cry -almost- in the middle of her math lecture. I didn’t know why I didn’t have any urge to read it but I didn’t. I didn’t want to know what it said. I laid back in my bed and held the note in my hand, before pulling my phone out.

> **Cyrus: Did you know your brother wrote me a letter note thingy?** **   
** **Amber: Yeah. What did it say?** **   
** **Cyrus: I don’t know.** **   
** **Cyrus: I haven’t read it** **   
** **Cyrus: it made Buffy almost cry** **   
** **Amber: Buffy read it?** **   
** **Amber: She cried?** **   
** **Cyrus: almost** **   
** **Amber: wow** **   
** **Amber: Why haven't you read it?** **   
** **Cyrus: I don’t know** **   
** **Cyrus: I guess I just don’t want to know what it says** **   
** **Amber: How come?** **   
** **Cyrus: Because I know myself** **   
** **Cyrus: I’m going to read it and it’s going to be this long emotional note of him apologizing** **   
** **Cyrus: I’m going to read it and forgive him** **   
** **Amber: that’s a bad thing?** **   
** **Cyrus: yes!** **   
** **Cyrus: I’m should still be mad** **   
** **Cyrus: but I’m not and I hate him for that** **   
** **Cyrus: I hate him because I don’t hate him** **   
** **Cyrus: not even a little bit** **   
** **Amber: I’m sorry Cyrus. If it makes any difference he probably hates himself, he had to start taking his medication again** **   
** **Cyrus: medication?** **   
** **Amber: I thought you knew. I shouldn’t have said anything.** **   
** **Amber: he takes antidepressants** **   
** **Amber: he tried to stop taking them but he kept having episodes. Our mom finally noticed because he’s been extra upset lately and made him start again** **   
** **Cyrus: why wouldn’t he tell me?** **   
** **Amber: he’s embarrassed about taking them** **   
** **Cyrus: why though? I have to take them too so it’s not like I’d judge him** **   
** **Amber: it’s not my place to tell you sorry Cy** **   
** **Cyrus: it’s fine. I’ll talk to you later my mom is calling me down for dinner** **   
** **Amber: Bye Cyrus** **   
** **Amber: Read the letter!**

I put my phone down and sighed. I didn’t really feel like eating but made my way downstairs anyway. I knew if I didn’t eat I would have all four parents analyzing my every move. They were already keeping a close eye on me because of my hand. They still haven’t tried to talk to me about why I punched someone and I was grateful for that. So even if I just wanted to sit in my room, I sat down and ate with my family to avoid the conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TJ's letter is probably going to have it's own chapter so watch out for that. Don't quote me on that though


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~TJ's Letter~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it is 1 am and I just finished writing this. It made me emotional I hope y'all like it <3

_ Dear Cyrus, _

_ I know I don’t deserve for you to forgive me or even listen to me but please just read this? I have a lot to explain, not just the bet. Like the fact that I cut you off the summer before freshman year. That was my fault entirely. I know I shouldn’t make excuses and I’m not but I want you to know why. I had a lot going on Underdog and I never talk about it with anyone because I’m embarrassed by it, even if I shouldn’t be. _

_ In sixth grade my dad found out I was gay, he got drunk and went absolutely mental. He almost killed me Cy.. My mom of course pressed charges and filed for divorced, which is why we don’t talk about him. I struggled a lot trying to accept myself after that. I mean all that hate came from my own father, I was afraid. I used to be so close to him. I hated myself because of how much I was like him. _

_ At the end of eighth grade I realized that I had fallen in love with you. I started freaking out and thought that if I could just take myself away from you I would stop liking you. So I tried to date a different guy but it didn’t last more than a couple weeks because I was scared and in love with you. I never should have cut you off, all that lost time and I’m still in love with you. _

_ Fast forward to sophomore year, this year, I always talk about you and little things I’ve noticed you do. The basketball guys were sick of me denying that I liked you and trying to convince myself I was straight. They started talking about you and saying that you definitely like me back but I thought they were crazy. So Kyle dared me to talk to you again and they started a betting pool on how long it would take for us to get together. I wasn’t even in the betting pool Underdog I swear, not a single penny of mine was put into the container. _

_ I know this is all so stupid. Cyrus I am so so sorry for how I treated you. I understand if you are never able to forgive me. I don’t deserve to be forgiven, I don’t deserve to have your smile in my life, but you deserve to smile. Your smile could light up whole cities Underdog. _

_ I want you to know I’m in love with you, I really am. I love the way your nose and ears turn a soft pink color when you blush. I love how you stick your tongue out right before scrunching your nose up when you’re pretending to be mad. I love how you could go on and on, rambling about anything and everything for hours if we let you. I love hearing your voice get ever so slightly higher when you talk about something you're passionate about, or how it gets just a little bit deeper when you try to pretend you understand something you don’t. I love the way your eyes light up when you realize there is enough chocolate chocolate chip muffins on the tray at lunch for you to get one. I know I shouldn’t have every aspect of you memorized better than the back of my hand but I do. _

_ Cyrus I spent so long being afraid but when I’m with you I’m not. When I’m with you I feel like I could do anything. I don’t have to be “Scary Basketball Guy” with you, I could just be TJ. I’m not afraid of having a mental disability, I’m not afraid of what other people think of me, I’m not afraid of my dad anymore.. I’m not afraid to admit that I’m gay because you taught me that Cyrus there is nothing wrong with me. You taught me how to accept myself. _

_ You were the only person who was patient enough to see the scared little boy behind the towering walls meant to scare people off. _

_ You stuck by me, even when I snapped at you, even when I brushed you off, even when I put you into harm's way, and I abandoned you. I don’t deserve another chance, I made more than one mistake and I know I will keep making mistakes. I’m trying to get better Cyrus, I promise I am. And you know, maybe you’ll read this letter and throw it away. Maybe you’ll read it and it will mean something to you. Either way it’s something I needed you to hear, even if I’m still too scared to say any of this out loud. I’m sorry Cyrus, I love you so so much, and even though I don’t deserve it I really hope you can forgive me. _

_ Yours truly, Tyler James Kippen _

_ P.s. I love you _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo what did y'all think? It took me a second to get into TJ's head but once I had I was like boom. I also may have been projecting but that's besides the point. ANYWAY I hope y'all liked it, the end is almost here!


	14. Chapter 14

I stared at the note in my hand with tears rolling down my face. I glanced at the clock which read “2:39AM” in bright red letters. It was now Saturday night, technically Sunday morning and I regretted not reading the letter Friday before bed. 

_ “He must think I hate him” _I whispered to myself, realizing he’s probably been waiting for me to contact him.

Quickly I grabbed my phone off my nightstand and dialed his phone number. I listened as it rung sighing as it went to voicemail. I was determined to speak to him so I dialed again. I held my breath and crossed my fingers hoping he’d answer.

** _*ring* *ring* *ring* _ ** **“hello?”** his voice came through the phone groggily and I felt my heart drop. What was I going to say?   
**“TJ?” **I whispered into my phone, hoping I hadn't upset him. **  
** **“U- Underdog?”** **  
** **“I’m sorry for waking you.”** **  
** **“It’s okay, what’s wrong?”** **  
** **“I- I read your letter. I need to see you right now please?”** **  
** **“I- what time is it Cy?”** He sounded more alert now and I tried to find a trace of emotion in his voice but I couldn’t pick anything up through the phone. **  
** **“2:45 AM”** **  
** **“Okay I’ll be there at 3, leave your window open”** **  
** **“My parents are away you can come through the door”** **  
** **“Okay Cy I’ll be there soon”**

The line went dead and sat up against my backboard. I realized he was coming over and all I was wearing were sweatpants. I contemplated putting a shirt on but I didn't want to get up, so I just turned my lamp on and waited for him. I kept wondering if he was actually coming while wiping tears away from my face. The door clicked open and I saw him walk in. He walked up to my bed and I immediantly I got up and hugged him tightly. I felt him tense up for a moment before relaxing into the hug.

“I’m so sorry Teej. I’m so sorry.” I muttered out between sobs. He had been playing with my hair and after I said that he stopped and pulled away. He put both hands on my shoulder and stared at me.

“You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for Cyrus. I’m the one who messed up”

“B-but you tried to explain and I wouldn’t let you. All this time we’ve both just been suffering because I wouldn’t let you talk to me. I was so busy being hurt I forgot how these things are supposed to be handled.”

“Cyrus-”

“And I just let myself be angry with you! I was so angry with everything. I became such a spiteful person because I didn’t want to handle the situation maturely. I blamed you but it wasn’t only your fault. It was mine too”

“Cyrus” his voice was slightly louder but I kept rambling.

“I fractured my hand because I was so busy being mad at everyone and everything. Everyone around me had to deal with my mood swings because I was too stubborn to take my medication and now I’ve hurt you and I hurt everyone around me when this could've been fixed from the start. I-”

“Cyrus!” TJ said louder this time and I stopped and looked up at him, tears streaming down my face. He put his hand on my cheek and wiped a tear away.

“This is not your fault Cyrus. This is mine, I made my choices and you had every right to act the way you did. You’re human and you were dealing with some fucked up betrayal. I would’ve acted the same way, Buffy would’ve, Andi would’ve. All of our friends would have acted that way” He was standing closer to me now and the memory of the fact that I did not have a shirt on made me shy. I moved my left hand to rest on my shoulder covering my chest.

“Did you mean it? What you said in the letter I mean”

“Yes Underdog, I meant every word of it.” he paused, taking my hand in his and pulling me closer to him. “I am sorry Cyrus, I wish I could take it back. I wish I could stop myself from hurting you. I’m sorry” He was closer now, I felt his breath against my skin.

“TJ..” I whispered breathlessly as he leaned closer

“Cyrus..” He whispered back, his lips nearly touching mine. I pulled him closer pressing my lips against his. He leaned forward and I felt myself fall backwards, I sat on the bed not once breaking the kiss. After awhile I pulled away slightly to breath, smiling softly.

“I love you Cyrus” TJ whispered, he sounded almost afraid.

“I love you too dummy” I smiled pulling him back into a kiss.

We laid down on the bed next to each other and TJ tugged my arm as if to ask me to lay closer and I laughed softly. He was laying on his back so I scooted closer, resting my head on his chest and wrapping my arm around his waist. He put his arm around my shoulder and I felt safe. I felt at home, TJ felt like home, I was finally home.

We still have plenty to talk about but for right now this was enough. To be lying by his side was enough. Having him here was enough. I moved my head to look at him and smiled.

“I missed you a lot you know” He whispered, his eyes fluttering open and shut.

“I missed you a lot too” I replied, laying my head back down and letting my eyes shut too.

We fell asleep like that, perfectly content with being together. I wanted to be with him. I finally believed he wanted to be with me too and that was all I needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is almost the end! I think one more chapter and the epilogue. This has been fun thank you for reading <3


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep saying one more chapter and then epilogue but this time I swear one more after this and then the epilogue. I keep prolonging it Im really into writing this fic!

The sun shone into my eyes, causing them to flutter open. I smiled softly at Cyrus who was still asleep on my chest. I brushed a stray strand of hair out of his face and he started to stir.

“Hey” I whispered softly as he looked up at me with a smile.

“Hey” He replied, letting out a soft giggle. I ran my hand down his back and he jumped at the contact. He sat up and I mirrored his action, sitting up as well.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m not wearing a shirt!”

“You weren’t wearing one when I got here. Am I still not meant to see you shirtless”

“No that's not it. I mean  _ no _ but like my parents!” He scrambled to put a shirt on and glanced out the window facing the driveway.

“You’re parents?”

“They’re going to think-” he gasped and pulled me out of the bed. “Come on hurry! I don’t know if they saw you!”

I laughed softly as he tried to quickly sneak me down the hall, his mom was sitting in the kitchen and he stopped, putting his finger to his lips and whispering “Shhh”.

I watched him walk past the kitchen to see if she’d notice him and then quickly motioning for me to follow.

“Good morning boys” His mom said without turning around and he let out a sigh.

“Good morning mom”

“Good morning Mrs Kippen”

“Come on sit down I made breakfast.”

We all sat at the table and I felt tension radiating from Cyrus, his mom seemed calm.

“So Cyrus is this your-” Mrs Goodman started and Cyrus quickly stopped her from saying whatever she was going to.

“No! It's not like that! Mom why? Lets not do this please” He whined, I didn’t fully understand what he was asking but his mom seemed to.

“Hey you’re the one who broke the rules. I can ask a simple question.”

“We didn’t do anything Mom stop please!” He whined.

“Cyrus you know you’re not supposed to have boys over when I’m out. The evidence is stacked against you young man. I know how you feel about TJ.”

“Mom please you’re being embarrassing.” I watched as the two stared at each other and Mrs Goodman sighed.

“Look dear, the last boy had me worried and I want to make sure you’re being safe.”

“Mom!” Cyrus exclaimed, we were both bright red. I had started choking on my drink and Mrs. Goodman quickly grabbed me a paper towel.

“The last boy?” I piped in putting my fork down and looking over at him. He let out a noise in frustration and put his face in his hands.

“Mom stop! It’s not like that. We had to talk and then we fell asleep. We didn’t do anything” I felt uneasy because he didn’t reply but decided I would ask later.

“Are you sure?” she asked

“Yes!” Cyrus whined and his mom glanced at me and I nodded

“Okay then, I believe you Cyrus”


	16. Chapter 16

After my mom had finished embarrassing me, TJ and I made our way to the park. It was still really early in the morning so nobody else was there. Neither of us spoke until we had sat at the swingset.

“I’m sorry about my mom.. She can be a lot” I smiled shyly at him and he laughed softly

“I think it’s just a mom thing. It’s like in their job description or something”

“Yeah must be..”

“So Cyrus.. What did she mean about the last guy?” TJ questioned quietly and I let out a small groan

“I- Freshman year I dated this guy for almost 6 months... You know him actually, his name is Reed. He was at your party.”

“You dated Reed? That mother-”

“TJ stop- I broke up with him.. I felt like he was just using me if I’m being honest. He always expected things from me that I wasn’t comfortable with. He got so mad when I told him no, he got really jealous if I talked about you. I’m not sure what that was about..”

“He knew how I felt about you, man the whole time he’s been my best friend and he was dating you and I never knew..”

“Yeah.. but the thing my mom was talking about was because he would always push like even if my parents were home.. There was a couple times she walked into the room when things got dangerously close. I’d never tell her but I’m so grateful she walked in..”

“He would force you? That son of a bi-” He let out a sigh and I squeezed his hand.

“No- I mean yes but we never actually did anything, which I’m glad for. Anyway, I don’t really want to talk about it anymore”

“Sorry for asking Cy but thank you for telling me. I promise I would never do that do you.” he squeezed my hand looked at me. I smiled fondly and interlaced my fingers with his.

“Well that brings us to the next subject we need to talk about… TJ what are we?”

TJ paused for a second and then smiled, “I'm not going to lie to you Cyrus. I’m still scared, my dad traumatized me and there is going to be times I’m going to be distant. There are going to be times where I won’t want to be too close in public. There’s going to be times where I won’t get out of bed and I’m trying to change all that but it’s going to take time… With that being said, if you’ll still have me I’d love to be boyfriends?” I wiped a tear that had rolled down his face and kissed him on the cheek softly before replying.

“TJ none of that is your fault. You are trying to recover from a traumatic experience. I know it’s going to be hard TJ but I love you, all the little broken pieces of you included. I choose you and I’ll always choose you.” I got off my swing and stood in front of TJ, who was still sitting on his swing.

“Boyfriends?”

“Boyfriends.” I nodded cupping his face and slowly leaning in. 

“Is this okay?” I asked

“Yes” his words were soft and I leaned in to kiss him. I was kissing my boyfriend. TJ Kippen was my boyfriend.  _ Finally _

~~~

After we stopped kissing we stayed in that position, just smiling at each other for at least 5 minutes before my phone started buzzing with texts from Amber

> **Evil Twin: TJ! Where the heck are you?** **   
** **Evil Twin: I woke up and you were gone wth!!! Tell me when you leave!** **   
** **TJ: Well I left at nearly 3am I think you would’ve killed me** **   
** **Evil Twin: Ok so maybe you’re right… but where did you go at 3am??  
** **TJ: With Cyrus.. 🤪😚😊** **   
** **Evil Twin: you are both disaster gays** **   
** **Evil Twin: r u ok?** **   
** **TJ: better than** **   
** **Evil Twin: oh?** **   
** **TJ: oh :)** **   
** **Evil Twin: Hurry up and get home before mom does dweeb** **   
** **TJ: she’s not home?** **   
** **Evil Twin: nope** **   
** **TJ: omw I refuse to be grounded lol**

I put my phone away and said goodbye to Cyrus and hurried home, thankfully making it home with 2 minutes to spare.


	17. Chapter 17: Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHH LAST CHAPTER!!!  
Read the end notes please!!!! Thank you all for reading <3

I hurried to the Spoon where my friends were all waiting for me. After TJ had left I texted them saying to meet me so I could tell them something. I hadn’t invited Jonah, which I felt kind of bad for but I just wanted GHC and Marty to know for right now. They were the ones around to help pick me up when everything was happening. I entered the diner and saw them sitting at a booth in the corner. I quickly took my seat beside Andi and put my hands on the table.

“You’re in a good mood today” Marty pointed out and I laughed

“You have no idea” I laughed in response stealing one of Andi’s baby taters.

“Are you going to tell us what happened?”

“I read TJ’s note last night technically this morning it was like 2:30”

“What! You barely read it? I told you read it!” Buffy interrupted

“And I did just not right away. AnYWAY. So I called him at 2:45 AM and he answered. I was a mess and told him to go over.”

“Oh?” Andi raised an eyebrow and I nudged her.

“Be quiet oh my gosh. So we talked and maybe we kissed and fell asleep cuddling? And then my mom embarrassed me because I’m not supposed to have boys over while she’s out and I’m definitely not supposed to be sleeping in the arms of a boy while I’m not wearing a shirt”

“You were shirtless!” Buffy exclaimed and I shushed her

“Bro you wouldn’t even change in the locker rooms but you let Kippen see you shirtless”

“Well it’s not like it was the first time he saw me shirtless so it's not a big deal my boyfriend saw me shirtless” I stated popping another baby tater in my mouth.

“Not the first time?” Buffy gasped

“Boyfriend!” Andi squealed

“The first time was an accident, kinda. I was tipsy and didn’t think about it. I've seen him shirtless twice so ya know”

“I- Cyrus who even are you?” Buffy teased and I laughed.

The table went silent and I took a deep breath.

“I told him about Reed kind of” I whispered, I wasn’t sure if they heard but the look on all of their faces told me they had.

“Kind of?” Marty asked softly and I nodded.

“My mom bought him up and TJ asked what she meant. I told him about us dating and about how he expected a lot from me..”

“I thought you weren’t going to tell anyone about that jerk. You never went public and I thought you never wanted to” Buffy asked putting her hand over mind as I took a shaky breath.

“He deserves to know, eventually I’ll tell him everything but for right now he knows enough”

“Okay Cy we are here for you when you do tell him okay?” Andi smiled resting her hand over Buffy’s.

“All three of us” Marty added, resting his hand on Andi’s and I laughed softly.

“I love you dorks”

“We love you too” Buffy smiled brightly

“Okay now! Let’s celebrate! Cy got his mans! We need milkshakes and more baby taters!” Marty said happily and that's just what we did, we celebrated. Things might be rocky in the future but right now they were perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so maybe I'm doing a second story oop  
Do y'all want that? I'm probably going to do it anyway but like I genuinely want to know if anyone wants it otherwise I'll just not publish it?


End file.
